And When the Lights Are All Out Ill See You Again
Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, information technology's nighttime... and nosotros're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hitting it.
[repeated line]
Elwood: We're on a mission from God.
Constabulary Dispatcher: Employ of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved.
Elwood: What kind of music do yous usually have here?
Claire: Oh, nosotros got both kinds. We got country *and* western.
Mrs. Murphy: May I assistance y'all boys?
Elwood: You got whatever white bread?
Mrs. Spud: Yeah.
Elwood: I'll have some toasted white bread please.
Mrs. Potato: You desire butter or jam on that toast, love?
Elwood: No ma'am, dry.
[Mrs. Murphy gives him a look, then turns to Jake]
Jake: Got any fried craven?
Mrs. Murphy: Best damn chicken in the state.
Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Mrs. Tater: Y'all desire chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
Mrs. Murphy: Y'all want annihilation to drink with that?
Elwood: No ma'am.
Jake: A Coke.
Mrs. Murphy: Exist upwardly in a minute
Elwood: Illinois Nazis.
Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.
Jake: How often does the train go by?
Elwood: And then often that yous won't even notice information technology.
Jake: What'southward this?
Elwood: What?
Jake: This car. This stupid automobile! Where'southward the Cadillac?
[Elwood doesn't answer]
Jake: The Caddy! Where's the Caddy?
Elwood: The what?
Jake: The Cadillac we used to have. The Bluesmobile!
Elwood: I traded information technology.
Jake: You traded the Bluesmobile for this?
Elwood: No, for a microphone.
Jake: A microphone?
[break]
Jake: Okay I tin can run across that. What the hell is this?
Elwood: This was a bargain. I picked information technology up at the Mount Prospect city police sale terminal spring. It's an one-time Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving 'em away.
Jake: Well thank you, pal. The day I get outta prison, my own brother picks me up in a *police* car!
Elwood: We're so glad to encounter and then many of you lot lovely people here tonight. And we would peculiarly like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois'southward constabulary enforcement customs that have chosen to join u.s.a. hither in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We certainly hope you all savour the show. And call up, people, that no thing who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there're however some things that makes us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody.
Jake: We're putting the band dorsum together.
Mr. Fabled: Forget information technology. No fashion.
Elwood: Nosotros're on a mission from God.
[while standing at the archway to the Triple Stone church watching the service with much dancing and Hallelujah choruses, a heavenly calorie-free shines down on Jake and he has an epiphany]
Jake: The band? The band.
Reverend Cleophus James: Exercise Yous See THE LIGHT?
Jake: THE Ring!
Reverend Cleophus James: DO You lot Encounter THE Light?
Elwood: What light?
Reverend Cleophus James: Take YOU SEEEEN THE Calorie-free?
Jake: Yep! Yeah! JESUS H. TAP-DANCING CHRIST... I HAVE SEEN THE Lite!
[Elwood Dejection Jake Dejection has a fight over the law automobile Elwood Blues got afterwards he traded away the original bluesmobile for a microphone]
Elwood: Yous don't like information technology?
Jake: No I don't like it...
[Elwood Dejection floors the pedal and jumps over an open drawbridge]
Jake: Auto'southward got a lot of pickup.
Elwood: It'southward got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch establish, it'south got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It'southward a model fabricated before catalytic converters so information technology'll run good on regular gas. What practice you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
[a cursory thinking pause while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]
Jake: Ready the cigarette lighter.
Jake: [to Sister Mary Stigmata] Five yard? No problem, nosotros'll have it for you in the morning time. Let's go, Elwood.
Sister Mary Stigmata: No, no! I will not accept your filthy stolen money!
Jake: Well then... I approximate yous're actually upwardly Shit Creek.
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Dejection with a ruler for using that kind of linguistic communication]
Sis Mary Stigmata: I beg your pardon, what did you say?
Jake: I offered to aid you... You refused to accept our money. And so I said: I estimate you're really up Shit Creek!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues with the ruler again]
Elwood: Christ, Jake. Take information technology piece of cake human being.
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Blues]
Jake: Oh shit!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Jake Blues]
Elwood: Jesus Christ!
[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood Dejection]
Jake: Shit!
[to man in eatery]
Jake: [fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
Begetter: What?
Jake: Your women. I desire to buy your women. The petty girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children!
[after a burst of gunfire from the Mystery Adult female, Jake climbs to his feet, covered in mud from the tunnel floor]
Jake: It'southward adept to run into you, sweetheart.
Mystery Adult female: You contemptible pig! I remained chaste for you. I stood at the dorsum of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for yous, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the all-time Romanian caterers in the land. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding ceremony party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my male parent, my uncle, and for the mutual good, I must at present kill you, and your brother.
[Jake falls to his knees]
Jake: Oh, please, don't kill united states! Please, please don't kill us! You lot know I dear you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. Information technology wasn't my fault!
Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think yous tin can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake: No, I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I... I had a apartment tire. I didn't have plenty coin for cab fare. My tux didn't come up back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible overflowing. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
[Elwood covers his head in anticipation of more gunfire, Jake removes his sunglasses to make a wordless appeal, and the Mystery Woman visibly softens]
Mystery Adult female: Oh, Jake... Jake, love...
[Jake embraces the Mystery Woman and they kiss]
Jake: [to Elwood] Let'due south go.
[He drops the Mystery Woman and walks off]
Elwood: [to the Mystery Adult female equally he steps past her] Accept information technology easy.
Murph: Tell me a fiddling near this electric piano, Ray.
Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my homo. That's the all-time in the city Chicago.
Jake: How much?
Ray: 2000 bucks and it'due south yours. You can have it dwelling house with you. As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.
[Sis Mary Stigmata hits Elwood with her stick]
Elwood: Ow, you fatty penguin!
Jake: How are you gonna get the ring dorsum together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those cops have your name, your accost...
Elwood: They don't accept my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.
Jake: 1060 West Addison? That's Wrigley Field.
Jake: We'll put the ring back together, do a few gigs, we get some bread. Bang! Five m bucks.
Elwood: Yeah, well, getting the ring back together might not that exist that easy, Jake.
Jake: What are you lot talking about?
Elwood: They split up, they all took straight jobs.
Jake: Aye, and so you know where they are. You said yous were gonna go along in touch with them.
Elwood: Well... I got a couple of leads, a few phone numbers, but I mean, how many of them visited or even wrote you, huh?
Jake: They're non the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside. You lot were supposed to keep in touch with the ring. I kept asking you if nosotros were gonna play again.
Elwood: Well, what was I gonna practice? Take away your simply hope? Have away the very affair that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you, okay?
Jake: You lied to me.
Elwood: It wasn't a lie, it was but bullshit.
Jake: First y'all traded the Cadillac in for a microphone. So you lied to me nearly the band. And now you're gonna put me right back in the articulation!
Elwood: They're not gonna take hold of the states. We're on a mission from God.
Elwood: This is glue. Potent stuff.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: And then, Jake, you're out, you're gratis, you're rehabilitated. What's next? What's happenin'? What you gonna do? Y'all got the coin you owe us, motherfucker?
Burton Mercer: Who wants an orange whip? Orangish whip? Orange whip? Three orangish whips.
[Elwood Blues has only passed on a red light, and a police car rolls up behind them. The words are said in the aforementioned rhythm as a dejection song ("Soothe Me") on the car stereo]
Elwood: Shit.
Jake: What?
Elwood: Rollers...
Jake: No.
Elwood: Yeah.
Jake: Shit.
Matt Murphy: Ah. Don't get riled, saccharide.
Mrs. White potato: Don't you "Don't get riled, sugar" me! You ain't goin' back on the road no more, and you lot ain't playin' them ol' two-bit sleazy dives. You lot're livin' with me now, and y'all not gonna go slidin' around witcho ol' white hoodlum friends.
Matt Murphy: Just babes, this is Jake and Elwood, the Blues Brothers.
Mrs. Murphy: The Dejection Brothers? Shit! They still owe y'all money, fool.
Jake: Ma'am, would it make you experience any ameliorate if you knew that what we're asking Matt hither to do is a holy affair?
Elwood: You see, we're on a mission from God.
Mrs. Murphy: Don't you lot blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in hither! This is my man, this is my eating place, and yous two are merely gonna walk right out that door without your dry out white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt "Guitar" Potato!
Gruppenfuehrer: [to Caput Nazi, every bit they plummet off the span] I've always loved you.
Elwood: Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now.
Elwood: [Police force take surrounded the Blues Brothers concert] ... And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois'southward law enforcement community that take chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time...
Jake: Uh, Bob, about the coin for tonight.
Bob: Oh, yeah, $200, and you boys drank $300 worth of beer.
[Jake Blues is released on parole and gets back all the things he wore when he was arrested]
Corrections Officer: One Timex digital watch, cleaved. One unused prophylactic.
[looks disgusted, picks something up with his pen]
Corrections Officer: One soiled. 1 black suit jacket, one pair black conform pants. One lid
[punches it back out to full]
Corrections Officer: black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.
[Carrie flame throws a propane tank next to a phone booth they are in - it blows sky high and crashes down to earth - the phone breaking in half]
Elwood: Hey, Jake. Gotta be at least seven dollars worth of change here.
Jake: [most the electric piano] $2,000 for this chunk of shit? C'monday, Ray.
Murph: [tests the piano] I mean actually, Ray, it'south used. At that place's no activeness left in this keyboard.
Ray: [smiles, comes out to the piano] E-excuse me, uh, I don't remember there's anything wrong with the action on this piano.
[launches into "Milkshake Your Tail Plumage"]
[while they are driving around in the shopping mall with 2 police cars on their tail]
Elwood: Baby clothes...
Jake: This place has got everything.
Jake: Book united states of america for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline: Agree information technology, hold it. Tomorrow night? What are yous talking about? A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood: I know all most that stuff. I accept been exploited all my life.
[the Adept Ole Boys arrive tardily]
Jake: My proper noun is Jacob Stein. I'm from the American Federation of Music. I've been sent to encounter if you lot gentlemen are carrying your permits.
Tucker McElroy: Our what?
Jake: Your union cards. May I see your cards please?
Tucker McElroy: Well, suppose nosotros ain't got no union cards and go in in that location and start playin' anyway? Whatcha gonna exercise near that? You gonna stop us, Stein? Ha. You're gonna look pretty funny tryin' to eat corn on the cob with no fuckin' teeth!
Mr. Fabled: No, sir, Mayor Daley no longer dines here. He's dead, sir.
Elwood: The light was yellow, sir.
Reverend Cleophus James: And now, people... And now, people... When I woke up this mornin', I heard a distubin' audio. I said When I woke up this mornin', I heard a disturbin' sound! What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a one thousand lost souls! I'm talkin' 'bout the souls of mortal men and women, departed from this life. Wait a minute! Those lost angry souls roamin' unseen on the earth, seekin' to find life they'll non notice, because it's too late! Tooooo late, yes! Also late for they'll never encounter over again the life they choose not to follow. Alright! Alright! Don't be lost when your fourth dimension comes! For the twenty-four hour period of the Lord cometh equally a thief in the night!
[singing]
Reverend Cleophus James: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! Can I get an AMEN?
[congregation shouts "AMEN!"]
Reverend Cleophus James: Can I get an AMEN?
[congregation shouts "AMEN!" again]
Reverend Cleophus James: Well Well Well!
[breaks into "The Old Landmark"]
[the brothers race around the mall parking lot]
Elwood: We'll be all right if we can only get back on the expressway.
Jake: This don't wait similar no pike to me!
Elwood: Don't yell at me.
Jake: Well whadda you want me to do, Motorhead?
Elwood: Try not to exist and so negative all the fourth dimension. Why don't you offer a little... constructive criticism?
Jake: You lot got us into to this parking lot, pal. Now you become us out!
Elwood: You want outta this parking lot?... O.One thousand.
[Camille has fired a auto gun at Jake and Elwood]
Elwood: Who *is* that girl?
Tucker McElroy: [to Bob after they accidently drive into a lake] Don't you say a fucking word!
[Arriving at the Orphanage]
Jake: What are we doing here?
Elwood: Y'all promised you lot'd visit the penguin the mean solar day you got out.
Jake: Yes? Then I lied to her.
Elwood: You can't lie to a nun. Nosotros got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No... fucking... way.
Curtis: Do you lot guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!
Jake: [falls down after getting smacked past Sister Mary Stigmata] Fuck this noise, human being!
Elwood: Hey you sleaze, my bed!
Sister Mary Stigmata: [after chasing Jake and Elwood out of her function with a ruler for using foul language] You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed then hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the ii young men whom I raised to believe in the 10 Commandments have returned to me equally two thieves, with filthy mouths and bad attitudes.
[pauses and points at them]
Sister Mary Stigmata: Get out, and don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves.
Elwood: Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over.
[he drives the Bluesmobile off the road, right through a guardrail]
Elwood: You want I should wash the dead bugs off the windshield?
[Trying to get Mr. Fabled back into the band]
Jake: If you say no, Elwood and I volition come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day of the week.
[Elwood takes a huge, obnoxious seize with teeth out of his bread]
Mr. Fabulous: Okay, okay. I'll play. You got me.
[as the Blues Brothers are trying to haggle the price of a piano, a little boy is in the back trying to steal a guitar. Of a sudden, Ray whips out a gun and -- despite being blind -- nearly misses hitting the boy]
Ray: Now, proceed! Get!
[the little boy scurries away]
Ray: [sadly] Breaks my center to see a boy that young goin' bad.
Maury Sline: What are you guys gonna do? The aforementioned deed? You wear the same verkakte suits?
Elwood: This is definitely Lower Wacker Bulldoze! If my estimations are correct, nosotros should be very close to the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza!
Jake: That's where they got that Picasso.
Elwood: Yep.
Elwood: I bet these cops got SCMODS.
Jake: SCMODS?
Elwood: State County Municipal Offender Data System.
Jake: Maury, you gotta come up through for us. Nosotros need $5,000 fast.
Maury Sline: $five,000? Who exercise you remember y'all are, The Beatles?
Elwood: Tonight but, the fabulous Dejection Brothers. Rhythm and Blues review. The Palace Hotel Ballroom. Route 16. Lake Wazzapamani. The fabulous Blues Brothers show band and review.
Father: [trying to go Mr. Fabled attending] Sir? Sir... sir... SIR!... SIR!
Murph: [reacting to the lights at Bob's Country Bar being turned off] Hey, why'd they turn out the lights?
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: Maybe they blew a fuse.
'Blue Lou' Marini: I don't retrieve so, human being! Those lights are off on purpose.
Curtis: Well, the Sister was right. Y'all boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock, and grab Rev. Cleophus. Y'all boys listen to what he'due south got to say.
Jake: Curtis, I don't desire to heed to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.
Curtis: Jake, you get wise. You become to church building.
Elwood: [after crashing the Bluesmobile in a car dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early on this twelvemonth!
Elwood: You on the motorcycle... You ii girls... tell your friends.
Ray: Pardon me, merely we take a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray'southward Music Commutation must exist present. Now, may I aid y'all?
Bob: That ain't no Hank Williams vocal!
Elwood's Boss: [deleted scene] Hello Elwood, sit down. What'southward on your mind?
Elwood: I gotta quit.
Elwood'due south Dominate: Why is that, Elwood?
Elwood: I'm... I'm going to become a priest.
Elwood'south Boss: Well okay! Listen I'll telephone call payroll and have them go your severance pay gear up.
[they rise and milkshake hands]
Elwood: God bless you, sir.
[after arriving at Wrigley Field, thinking it's Elwood's business firm]
Head Nazi: [to the Nazis] Anybody with that kind of tape is gonna make a error. I desire all political party members in the tri-land district to monitor the urban center, county and state constabulary on their CBs. Mr. Dejection is gonna fuck up, and when he does... he better pray the constabulary get to him before nosotros practise.
Jake: Look at you, in those candy-ass monkey suits. And I thought I had it bad in Joliet.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes, sucker. You're wearing the same shit you lot had on 3 years ago.
Elwood: [during "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love"] People, when you do find that special somebody, yous gotta agree that man, hold that woman! Dearest him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it's so important to take that special somebody to concord, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!
Mrs. Tarantino: Mister Homo! Mister Man! Mister Human. They left this card.
Jake: Disco pants and haircuts...
Elwood: Yep, lots of space in this mall.
Jake: Take $1400 and give information technology to Ray'due south Music Exchange in Calumet City. Give the rest to the band.
Elwood: I gotta hit the sack.
[He sees that Jake has fallen comatose on his bed]
Elwood: Hey, you sleaze. My bed!
[Elwood pauses for a 2d, and then retrieves the liquor bottle and sets information technology beside the hot plate. He spreads a coating over his brother]
Curtis: Boys, y'all got to learn not to talk to nuns that way.
[at the closing, as each graphic symbol is credited]
Reverend Cleophus James: The sad sack was sittin' on a cake o' stone/Mode over in the corner weepin' all alone/
Curtis: The warden said, "Hey, buddy, don't you be no square / if y'all can't find a partner use a wooden chair!"
Ray: Let'due south rock, everybody, let's stone/
Mrs. Irish potato: Everybody on the whole jail cell block / Was dancin' to the Jailhouse rock.
Elwood: [the Mystery Woman sprays the tunnel with gunfire as Jake and Elwood dive for the ground] Who *is* that daughter?
Mystery Woman: Well Jake, you lot look just fine downwardly in that location, slithering in the mud similar vermin.
Jake: [makes a reassuring gesture to Elwood] No problem.
Mr. Fabulous: Yes? How are your salads?
Father: The salads are fine. It's just that nosotros'd similar to motion to a new table... abroad from those two gentlemen.
[Mr. Fabulous glances briefly at Jake and Elwood stuffing their faces at the table beside the family]
Mr. Fabulous: Why? Have they been disturbing you?
Father: No, information technology's just that... well frankly, they're offensive. Smelling. I mean they physically smell... bad.
Elwood: Our blessed Lady of Acceleration, don't neglect me now.
Jake: That Night Train's a mean vino.
Caput Nazi: White men! White women! The swastika is calling you. The sacred and aboriginal symbol of your race, since the outset of time. The Jew is using The Blackness as muscle against y'all. And you lot are left there helpless. Well, what are you going to do nigh it, Whitey? Only sit down in that location? Of grade not! You are going to join with u.s.a.. The members of the American Socialist White Peoples' Party. An organization of decent, police abiding white folk. Merely like yous!
[first lines]
Prison house Baby-sit #ane: Yeah, the Assistant Warden wants this one out of the block early. Wants to get information technology over with fast.
Prison house Guard #ii: Okay, let'southward do it.
[rattling the confined with his billy]
Prison Guard #1: Hey come on, information technology's fourth dimension to wake up.
Prison Baby-sit #2: Wake up. Let's get, it'south fourth dimension.
[striking the sleeping Jake with his billy]
Elwood: Don't worry, they won't catch u.s. -- we're on a mission from God.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: You'll never get Matt and Mr. Fabulous out of them high-payin' gigs.
Jake: Oh yeah? Well me and the Lord, nosotros have an understanding.
Jake: [to Mystery Woman] I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible alluvion, locust'south. Information technology wasn't my fault! I swear to God!
Mystery Woman: Ohh, Jake!
[He kisses her, she sets down her gun and he lets her fall into the mud]
[terminal lines]
Entire Coiffure: Everybody in the whole cell cake was dancing to the Jailhouse Stone!
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